Humiliation (also called stultification) is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially or legally unacceptable act. Whereas humility can be sought alone as a means to de-emphasise the ego, humiliation must involve other person(s), though not necessarily directly or willingly. Acting to humiliate yourself may be linked to a personal belief (as with mortification of the flesh, with some religions), or it can be part of erotic humiliation where the belittling activity provides emotional and/or sexual arousal or heightened sensation. In the context of CBT, it is done while involving torment of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
Voluntary Sexual Practices
However, it can also be a consensual sexual practice, as part of an agreement with a sex partner to engage in erotic humiliation as part of bondage and domination activities. This is a type of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself, as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. It can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public. Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance or online. The distinction between humiliation and dominance in an activity such as erotic spanking is that the sought-after effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.
Whilst mild or moderate humiliation is not an uncommon part of BDSM or other sexual roleplay, humiliation play can be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner - therefore, erotic humiliation in the context of BDSM is best approached with clear awareness of the effects. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay, that some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of a safeword. This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on context. The person being humiliated is often called a bottom, and the person who humiliates them is often called the top, (though these are standard terms used in general dominant/submissive role play and are not specific to humiliation interests) or if female, sometimes humiliatrix. Other common names are slave or sub/submissive for the bottom, and Master/Mistress or Dom/Domme for the top.
Humiliation is not the same as dominance, as the devotee is not necessarily seeking to be ordered about. Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual act when the devotee seeks the humiliation over and above the means; for example, when being spanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved. Sexual humiliation is very open-ended. Broadly, it can be divided into verbal and physical aspects. Verbal aspects might include verbal belittlement, such as "slave", "boy", "girl", "missy", "pet"; insults and verbal abuse, such as "fat", "ugly", "stupid", "worthless". Degrading references, such as "slut", "tart", "bitch" and "whore"; slighting of body parts or behaviors, such as disparaging or cruel references to breasts, facial appearance, genitalia or genital size; having to ask permission for everyday activities. Activities may include detailed punishments for a variety of 'infractions' or misbehavior, such as having to stand in a corner facing a wall for several hours, flogging or whipping, being restrained with cuffs or wear a gag. Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualized by association with arousal.
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